YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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