we have pet lesbian snakes
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was born a porn star she said
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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