Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
