I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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