You can't motorboat a personality
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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