it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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