Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
