after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
