The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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