the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
