I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
