I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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