Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
