omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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