We named our party play list daddy issues
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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