Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
