i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
