What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
