So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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