She's JV to your varsity
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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