you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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