I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
