Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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