i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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