fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
