she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
