This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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