you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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