Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
