her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
