He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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