just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
two words: eviction party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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