I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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