woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
