so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize