You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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