No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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