If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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