She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
