I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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