I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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