hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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