White coat. Heels.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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