return my video game
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
