Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
