Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
