one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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