the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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