There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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