I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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