Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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