Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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