these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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