i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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