My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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