all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
