Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
