And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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