return my video game
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
