I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
