marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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