i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
