She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
