yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
