ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Too much gin, very little bucket
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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