No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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