Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
